Scholars at University in NW Georgia Discover a (NEW) New Testament
Correcting the Old Ways with Ways More Fun
Scholars at Reinhardt University have discovered a (NEW) New Testament. Reportedly, this (NEW) New Testament was unearthed in the basement of this Waleska-based institute of higher learning. As a Christian university, Reinhardt would obviously be interested in all biblical matters—especially a matter related to the New Testament…especially a (NEW) New Testament.
According to sources close to this investigation, the discovered papyrus is a fragment from the Gospel of Mark, specifically Chapter 10. Put simply, this fragment redefines Christianity, and as such, it nullifies all previous versions of Mark’s gospel, at least according to the Methodist Church and the brain trust at Reinhardt. This (NEW) New Testament reads: But from the beginning of the creation God made them male, female, and drag. For this cause shall a man in drag leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh—one in drag and the other not. What therefore God hath joined together in drag, let no one put asunder.”
With this (NEW) New Testament affirmed, the brain trust at Reinhardt recently celebrated drag in accordance with the teachings of Jesus, so much so, the university hosted a drag show on campus. As one erudite performer in the drag show must have been thinking: The Son must be sitting and smiling right next to our Father in heaven. Surely, Jesus condones drag. I’m gonna work it…gonna work it, girl. Work it! Work it! Work it! Work it! Work it, girl!
According to sources close to the papyrus, Reinhardt revealed Mark’s new gospel at the annual Easter Sunrise Service on April 9, 2023. So, in Waleska, parishioners celebrated drag on May 27, and then a few days later, celebrated Resurrection Sunday.
Reinhardt University should be applauded and praised for celebrating Easter and encouraging men to dress up like women—all in accordance with the gospel.