Turd Balls & Turd Patties Served Up at Gravy Boat
Excrement Abounds in Floyd County
Located at 1413 Dean Avenue stands the Gravy Boat, an out-of-the-way, greasy spoon in Rome, Georgia. After recently changing ownership, the “new & improved” Gravy Boat has added excrement to its menu, a cornucopia-like fare comprised of Southern-styled breakfast foods ranging from scrambled eggs to cinnamon rolls.
One customer described the turd-patty biscuits as “the perfect mix of flour and $hit.” Another customer said the turd balls “are well-seasoned and give that perfect turd taste.” A driver stopped at the red light of 12th Street and Rockmart Road added “I’m just happy we now have a restaurant that reflects the character of our city. Sioux Falls has water; Pittsburgh has steel; Rome has piles and piles of poo-poo.”
Dr. Sally Shitzmann of the National Foodways Museum sees this as a logical use of the city’s natural resources. According to Shitzmann, “foodways are a natural extension of a city’s character and sentiment. Since so much excrement exists in Floyd County—with the likes of Berry, Darlington, Shorter, certain business leaders, various religious leaders, government leaders, etc. all—it seems only natural for a restaurant to alter its foodways in order to accommodate the consumption of feces.”
The excrement harvest itself is a joint venture among Chinese and Latin American farmers exporting animal feces to the United States. Shitzmann calls this “second harvest, or the act of processing and eating that which has already been defecated.”
The Gravy Boat is open Monday to Saturday: 5am to Noon. For the next month, the Gravy Boat will be running Turd Patty & Turd Ball breakfast specials.